Hello blog land (Georgia I know you're the only person who reads these). I warn you now I'm in a wordy mood.
You know those nights when for some unfathomable reason you just can't seem to get to sleep? You must do. it usually starts with an attempt to drift off with no distractions. You might then re-adjust your position betwixt sheet and duvet. I usually favour the on the back with right or left leg bent at a 90 degree angle. Or occasionally when I fancy a change of scenery I might do that clever manoeuvre we all attempt and rotate my body along the vertical axis of 180 degrees. In other words go from lying on my back to lying on my front. Sometimes placing an arm between the pillows. This position however comfy and satisfying it may be upon first adoption can very soon exacerbate matters. Us blokes will find that very soon the little fella in your boxers will soon start to complain of crushing, usually by itching or by some other form of minor irritation. Oh! Remember the arm so cunningly placed between pillows, as if to sandwich it from the horrible world beyond the bed sheets, it starts to go numb.
Anyway as you can probably deduce from the above I am in a state of none sleep. A state of supposed "Over Tired".
Like all people in this afore mentioned state I find myself thinking, reflecting, contemplating if you will. Yes... Contemplating. What ever it is that a man of my infinite (non-existent) wisdom contemplates. The main subject of my pre-sleep contemplation is also often the subject of my unconscious musings (dreams). This subject (pictured above) is as far as I am aware the only person who, for whatever reason, reads these mind spews and for whatever reason I use these incoherent typings to communicate to her my true and innermost introspections.
Now not meaning to sound like a big headed misogynist, but I have dated a few girls in my time. However none of these girls have induced the same feelings as Georgia. She is the most beautiful girl I have never kissed. I'd be lying to you if I said that the one thing I couldn't give a monkey's left nut about was making her the most beautiful girl I have ever kissed. I can think of nothing more wonderfully life changing than that one moment of fleeting empty headedness that would come with that one kiss. I'm not talking an eat your face off snog. That's not what I'm about at all. I am talking about that moment where you are both focused entirely on each other and, for a brief second when your lips touch, it's like the rest of the world disappears and you are both floating amongst the stars in space.
Again I digress. The point I am trying, rather poorly I might add, to make is that I have never just wanted that moment with any other girl. I confirmed this new and indescribable feeling whilst on Skype (oh Skype how I adore thee). Something happened at her end of the call that made her smile. I can't remember what it was and frankly I didn't much care as when she smiled everything else that I was doing, thinking or saying melted away into non-existence. For that brief moment I became completely centred on her. Nothing else mattered. It's amazing how a person can do that with something as simple as a genuine smile.
That moment is one that will live with me forever. At least I hope it does.
Tonight is a clear night. You can see the stars, all of them, and the moon... The moon is something else. It's wonderful silver glow bathes the ground with a shine that makes all it falls upon look metallic. Tonight I would love nothing more than to be lying in the field that I spoke about in Episode 1. Wrapped up in numerous sleeping bags and duvets. Lying next to the person who puts all the beauty of her surroundings to shame. Just holding her. Feeling the gentle warmth that radiates off her soft delicate skin. In my thoughts I just gaze endlessly into her eyes. Eyes that you can just loose yourself in. Eyes that, when looking back into yours, make you feel terrified and excited both at the same time. Eyes that, when looking back into yours, make you realise what kind of a person you are. Then I gently run my fingers through her silky soft hair, brushing it off her face. Leaning forward we would both close our eyes and then plant that gentle, wonderful kiss on each others lips. That's all. No snog. No fumble in the dark. Just that one perfect moment led by that one perfect kiss.
I hope when you read this Georgia that you realise that I am prepared to wait my entire life for that moment. If I have to I will. I also want to make it clear to you that I could spend my life with Zooey Deschanel and it would not equate to a tenth of a second spent lying in that field with you. I want you to know that that day at Nene Valley Railway, pretending times were better and that there was a war on, was the happiest and best day of my life to date.
Georgia with out you I would not be up at three in the morning writing this blog. For that I thank you. You who has made me realise that life is actually pretty fucking awesome. I hope upon reading this musing, of a guy who really has no idea what to make of how he feels about you, you may consider that moment.
That perfect moment led... by that perfect kiss.
Love
Matt
xXx
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