Episode 9 - Employee Of The Month

Blogland, my humble followers, Georgia and of corse the people of Seawick.

Welcome to Episode 9 of Geek Sheek & Love "Employee Of The Month". As you can see I have decided to adopt a shopping theme for this bloglette. This was inspired by an early morning trip to Sainsbury's (in my opinion one of the most orange supermarkets).

TBC...

Episode 8 - Bright Young Things

Hello Friends, Romans & Countrymen. Oh and the Welsh mustn't forget them!

Welcome to Episode 8 Bright Young Things. The reason I chose this particular film for the title has to be the most simplistic thought process known to date. I have named every blog in this series so far after a film, I couldn't think of an appropriate film with witch to condemn this blog. I turned on film 4 (one of the finer televisual film stations) and low and beholdeth A film written and directed by a Mr Stephen Fry "Bright Young Things". Great Scott! I exclaimed, in a manner not unlike Christopher Lloyd in Back To The Future (Parts 1,2 & 3), that will be the title by which episode eight will be known.

Then followed the decision to not edit the film's poster, as I have on many of my other episodes, but to simply post a wonderful picture of my young lady, the most beautiful and picturesque Miss Georgia Evans. This picture taken by her good hand (the right (Chortal)) and lovingly enhanced, polished and genrally spruced up by yours truly, has made a fine picture to act as a commencement to this mini oeuvre.

Now there are many reasons why an individual would write a blog. They may write it professionally for a newspaper or weekly periodical. They may like to simply muse their inner most thoughts for all to read or as a personal journal. They may have been in a horrific accident leaving them only with on finger with which to type that which is most momentous to them. Or they might like me simply have nothing better with which to fill one's time. I say, I have nothing better to do, however this is not always the case. Truth is I am trying to convince myself that one day some famous publisher will read this and track me down. He will grasp me in his oh so powerful publisher's grasp and state

"You...you... you sir are the one we have been waiting for... the one man who dares to stand up and speak freely about geeks in relationships... The one man who tells the world of the love that dare not speak it's name... Geek love... A love so pure, so rare and so bloody desperate it simply would make a meer mortal mind collapse inwards on itself forming a black whole of nothingness inside their cranium of ignorance!" However you an I both know this is an unlikely senario. For starters real people don't talk like that.

I like writing these blogs. Why I hear you ask (well I don't, but if you like you can shout the word why into a jar and post it to me). I like writing these blogs because for the brief time it takes me to put my odd thoughts down onto virtual parchment I can say what I want, how I want. It's a blog, the normal constrictions and conventions of English grammer and lexicon need not apply. I can write however stupidly I desire. If it were up to me I would talk like this in real life, but then people would just assume I was mental. They would point and laugh. They would say

"Who is this pompos twat? How do I get away from him? Has he got a hunting knife strapped to his shin?"

Needless to say I wouldn't have any friends and I'm very happy with the 12 I have currently (my alternative personality Martin included in that).

In the dark ages before the blog and indeed the world wide web was invented I would've had to stand atop tall wooden structures wailing my inner thoughts and pointlessly over complicated jargon at passers by. I would have been more offensive and annoying to the ears than listening to 101 Speeches From Margret Thatcher (Now available on iTunes & Spotify).

I suppose you're waiting for this blog to have a point. Usually I would talk about some romantic happening which I bollocksed up or something beautiful I once dreamt (Hopefully involving Cameron Diaz, Eva Mendez, Carmen Electra, A hot tub and a family size tub of banana yoghurt), but no... no today I will not.

Oh fine then but it will be quick and to the pont. Last Friday me and the wonderful lass (pictured above) went on a date. We ate a nice meel and went to the theatre. I bought her an iPod as it was near her Birthday and we went home and overall it was a wonderful evening.

Part 2

On the following Monday I helped out with the Key Theatres technical rehearsals of a play called Too Fast. The rehearsals finished earlier than expected so me and the wonderful lass (pictured above) ventured forth into town. Whereupon we sat behind a dimly lit church, she finished some coursework and we hugged. We then rounded off with a meal in the most romantic of eateries McDonalds (No seriously we did). After a shitty encounter with a grumpy woman who would let us bring a bike in the classy restaurant for the 20 minutes we were to be eating we both went back to her house (Georgia's not the grumpy woman from McDonalds) and that was that.

There is the romantic happening for this blog.

What I really wanted to explain to you simple folk was the sheer joy of writing random blogs when bored. It's nice to document one's thoughts in an informal chatty way. It's also nice to look back after years gone by at what the hell you were thinking when you decided to take the love of your life to McDonalds for a meal.

Anyway. I hope you have enjoyed this latest rambling of an insane young man and will tune back next time for more on... GEEK SHEEK & LOVE.

Tata.

Matt x

Episode 7 - Run Fat Boy Run

Hello Blogland

Once again I find myself at a loose end and feel that now would be a good time to update you in my life. I know it's been so long I bet you can barely remember who I am. If this is actually the case then please refer to earlier blogs for a quick reminder.

Right then, providing you have now re-familiarised yourself with me, we shall crack on with the latest in midnight bloglettes. Well since last time we spoke, oh let me see, many moons ago, a lot has changed. Put simply episode six of this blog has been made a reality. This was cause for great celebration and much rejoicing. Here is some of that rejoicing:

Yeah! Whoop! Yay! Back of the net! & Jackanackanory!

Ok rejoicing over. Having composed myself and had a quick moment to jump up and down in a corner somewhere I realised something. This girl in particular was in no way like the others. Other girls I had dated and such with were very, well for want of a better phrase, lustful. This girl however, this kiss, was not one of those young person, grab your head and shove your tongue down each other's throats affair. This kiss was, well it was different. The closest thing I can think of that will allow you to realise what it is I am trying to describe would be the scene on the digger from Garden State (linked below)

Garden State - Kiss

So as you can see it's something pretty special. This is the kind of thing that, let's be honest, you don't get everyday. I know that when I'm a little or a lottle bit mopey. When everything seems pointless and I just want the world to throw itself off Beachy Head, I can call her or even text her, or even better if I'm with her, kiss and hug her and everything is OK. In fact everything is better than OK.

Everything Is Perfect.

Matt

x

Episode 6 - How To Make Friends & Alienate People

Hello blog land (Georgia I know you're the only person who reads these). I warn you now I'm in a wordy mood.

You know those nights when for some unfathomable reason you just can't seem to get to sleep? You must do. it usually starts with an attempt to drift off with no distractions. You might then re-adjust your position betwixt sheet and duvet. I usually favour the on the back with right or left leg bent at a 90 degree angle. Or occasionally when I fancy a change of scenery I might do that clever manoeuvre we all attempt and rotate my body along the vertical axis of 180 degrees. In other words go from lying on my back to lying on my front. Sometimes placing an arm between the pillows. This position however comfy and satisfying it may be upon first adoption can very soon exacerbate matters. Us blokes will find that very soon the little fella in your boxers will soon start to complain of crushing, usually by itching or by some other form of minor irritation. Oh! Remember the arm so cunningly placed between pillows, as if to sandwich it from the horrible world beyond the bed sheets, it starts to go numb.

Anyway as you can probably deduce from the above I am in a state of none sleep. A state of supposed "Over Tired".

Like all people in this afore mentioned state I find myself thinking, reflecting, contemplating if you will. Yes... Contemplating. What ever it is that a man of my infinite (non-existent) wisdom contemplates. The main subject of my pre-sleep contemplation is also often the subject of my unconscious musings (dreams). This subject (pictured above) is as far as I am aware the only person who, for whatever reason, reads these mind spews and for whatever reason I use these incoherent typings to communicate to her my true and innermost introspections.

Now not meaning to sound like a big headed misogynist, but I have dated a few girls in my time. However none of these girls have induced the same feelings as Georgia. She is the most beautiful girl I have never kissed. I'd be lying to you if I said that the one thing I couldn't give a monkey's left nut about was making her the most beautiful girl I have ever kissed. I can think of nothing more wonderfully life changing than that one moment of fleeting empty headedness that would come with that one kiss. I'm not talking an eat your face off snog. That's not what I'm about at all. I am talking about that moment where you are both focused entirely on each other and, for a brief second when your lips touch, it's like the rest of the world disappears and you are both floating amongst the stars in space.

Again I digress. The point I am trying, rather poorly I might add, to make is that I have never just wanted that moment with any other girl. I confirmed this new and indescribable feeling whilst on Skype (oh Skype how I adore thee). Something happened at her end of the call that made her smile. I can't remember what it was and frankly I didn't much care as when she smiled everything else that I was doing, thinking or saying melted away into non-existence. For that brief moment I became completely centred on her. Nothing else mattered. It's amazing how a person can do that with something as simple as a genuine smile.

That moment is one that will live with me forever. At least I hope it does.

Tonight is a clear night. You can see the stars, all of them, and the moon... The moon is something else. It's wonderful silver glow bathes the ground with a shine that makes all it falls upon look metallic. Tonight I would love nothing more than to be lying in the field that I spoke about in Episode 1. Wrapped up in numerous sleeping bags and duvets. Lying next to the person who puts all the beauty of her surroundings to shame. Just holding her. Feeling the gentle warmth that radiates off her soft delicate skin. In my thoughts I just gaze endlessly into her eyes. Eyes that you can just loose yourself in. Eyes that, when looking back into yours, make you feel terrified and excited both at the same time. Eyes that, when looking back into yours, make you realise what kind of a person you are. Then I gently run my fingers through her silky soft hair, brushing it off her face. Leaning forward we would both close our eyes and then plant that gentle, wonderful kiss on each others lips. That's all. No snog. No fumble in the dark. Just that one perfect moment led by that one perfect kiss.

I hope when you read this Georgia that you realise that I am prepared to wait my entire life for that moment. If I have to I will. I also want to make it clear to you that I could spend my life with Zooey Deschanel and it would not equate to a tenth of a second spent lying in that field with you. I want you to know that that day at Nene Valley Railway, pretending times were better and that there was a war on, was the happiest and best day of my life to date.

Georgia with out you I would not be up at three in the morning writing this blog. For that I thank you. You who has made me realise that life is actually pretty fucking awesome. I hope upon reading this musing, of a guy who really has no idea what to make of how he feels about you, you may consider that moment.

That perfect moment led... by that perfect kiss.

Love

Matt

xXx

Episode 4 - Love Actually

What are we? Seriously. Think about for a minute or two. Exactly! I haven't a clue either. We are, as a whole, a complete and utter anomaly. There are some people who believe that we were created by a greater being ie. God. I however do not buy into this idea of a greater power or devine intervention. I believe in physics, in evolution. The only thing about us that I cannot begin to fathom is love. Love actually (see what I did there) is one of the most confusing feelings, if you can call it a feeling. No other feeling in existence can make you happy, sad, hurt, angry, laugh, cry or anything else you care to throw into the mix.

A person once said that the phrase "All is fair in love and war" is complete hogwash. Love and war are two very different things. One involves a lot of physical and psychological pain and the other is war.

Now as human beings we have created this ideal of what love is. The theory of the one. That some where out there is someone with whom we are destined to spend the rest of our lives with. I however believe that true love is being able to brush your teeth in the same room as your partner having a poo.

Episode 3 - The Scent of a Woman

Hello Blog Land

First let us together take a trip back in time. Close your eyes and read on... Erm... No actually ignore the first bit of that and just read on... Oi!!! Right now I have your full and un-divided attention I can continue.

Remember a time when things were better. When music was smooth and you could understand the words. A time when men were gentlemen not idiots and when women dressed in beautiful dresses. Yes the 1940's. Now I am aware that for nearly half of the 40's we were at war, but it's not like that mattered. We pulled together with that British stiff upper lippedness you just don't get any more.

Well I found out through one of my all time favorite sources that Nene Valley Railway in Peterborough were remembering this fabulous time by hosting a 1940s weekend. So me and a person of the female genre decided to go. We got ourselves dressed up and off we went.

Now I already believe without any doubt that the girl pictured above is the most beautiful thing that I have ever set eyes on. However you then put this stunning example of the female genre into a 1940s surrounding and what you have is the definition of beauty. The day went on and our cameras snapped furiously at the sights they beheld and eventually we found ourselves sat on a bench by the platform freezing gently in the cold drizzle. Everyone else had gone or was packing up to go, our 1940s experience had come to an end. Well this was what she thought. Confident that the day was not going to end with us both sat in weather I stood up.

"Don't go anywhere." I told her, then nipped over to the other side of the railway track and plucked a beautiful pink flower off it's stalk. I ran back over and delicatly placed the flower in her hair. No someone at work asked me after this story if I loved this girl. I was stunned by the question and as such stumble and replied.

"I... I don't know"

"How can you not know?" They asked. I stared blank into space, thinking, pondering and procrastinating. I paused for what seemed like an eternity, closed my eyes and took a moment. I then explained.

"Because my head is filled with questions and I can assure you no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to - is she the one? The answer bloody well isn't maybe or could be, it's yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly yes. And for one week, one week in my sad little blip of an existence, it made me happy."

Episode 2 - The Phantom Menace

So here it is. The difficult second album. Yes it's just a picture but I was tired and couldn't be bothered to write anything.